Thursday, August 20, 2015

All it takes is shoes

I was the kind of new mom that stayed in her pajamas WAY too long into the day. I know in the beginning when your body is a mobile feeding machine it’s the obvious way to go, but I’m telling you I took the slob look to a whole new level. I remember when my first child was born in Beijing, and at about 6 weeks old my mom flew in from South Africa to help me with her for 2 weeks. On day no. 2 of her trip it was MY MOM that pointed out that I had yet to wear a top. I had been loafing around for the last 6 weeks with my boobs on hand at every turn and covering myself up with a fluffy gown only when ‘airing my sore breasts’ was no longer a valid excuse. In fact I am quite sure that the only reason I started getting dressed was because maternity leave was over, but I am quite sure that for 4 months my husband didn’t see me in anything that wasn’t loose and pajama-like. Fast forward to baby number two and we’ve landed in South Africa as a family of 4 and with 6-week old Titus in tow. Once again I am spending my days in nothing more than my white fluffy gown (the same one from my first child mind you although looking a lot less white). There are days poor hubby does not see me change for days, and not because I have not cleaned myself, but because the pull of that fluffy almost-grey gown is just too strong. I get up in the morning, and even if I am going out, it’s the first thing I change into when I get home. And just try to be productive in your floppy gown. It is physically impossible. No matter our intentions you just cannot get down to anything serious looking like the Michelin man. The day my then 2-yr old smashed her face into the coffee table and bled for an age through her mouth, I ran to my neighbour’s house in…you guessed it….my white fluffy gown. Thankfully she has 4 kids of her own so I am hopeful there wasn’t too much judgement, although with 4 kids she still managed to be dressed by 12pm.
Now you realize that the gown is just the icing on the top of a very disheveled package. It goes hand in hand with unshaven legs, hubby’s slippers and whatever hairstyle gets the hair off your face.
And this is a common reality for most new moms, and moms in general, at some stage. I have personally read loads of self help books on the matter (I kid you not there is a book entitled FRUMPS TO PUMPS that I flipped through once). I even confided in a friend who tried to help me with accountability in this area who in a very helpful way suggested showering at the start of my day rather than the end as a way of prying the gown off me first thing.
But the amazing discovery I made regarding this topic has actually only occurred after baby number 3. Yes, I have looked and felt frumpy for almost 6yrs if you count pregnancy. The trick is in the shoes! Yes ladies of slump, this is where you need to make the change. It’s not with your hair (although a bit of hair and make up effort never hurt anyone), its in the shoes.  Like that old Sonny and Cher song – if you wanna know if she* loves you so, it’s in her shoes, that’s where it is.

So there you have it. My pearls of wisdom with 3 kids under belt. Nowadays, if I want to be productive I wear good shoes ALL DAY and that seems to do the trick. I am unlikely to slink back into my slothful ways wearing a cool pair of shoes, although when those shoes come off and those feet make their way onto the couch it is seriously down hill from there. Beware. The previously white fluffy gown is sure to follow suit.

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